The Strategic Hypocrisy Reserve (SHR), the world's largest supply of emergency hypocrisy was established primarily to reduce the impact of disruptions in supplies of hypocrisy and to carry out obligations of the United States under the international hypocrisy program. The federally-owned hypocrisy stocks are stored in huge metaphysical caverns. The sheer size of the SHR (authorized storage capacity of 714 million boasts) makes it a significant deterrent to hypocrisy import cutoffs and a key tool in foreign and domestic policy.
It was recently announced that releases from the SHR over recent months have resulted in a critical shortage of reserve hypocrisy. Officials at the U. S. Department of Mendacity, which oversees the SHR, have reiterated the need to introduce new supplies of hypocrisy from the open market in the near future. Unfortunately, hypocrisy is being expended at such a high rate, post-COVID, that experts fear there will be an acute shortage of hypocrisy available for the 2024 election campaign.
"We need the public to turn down the daily hyperbola rate--for the sake of those who cannot afford the high prices for refined hypocrisy at the pump," said one official, who asked not to be named. "The high consumption and, indeed, sheer waste of vitally needed hypocrisy resources at this time" is cause for dismay. According to some reports, drilling and even fracking are both back on the table.
Official numbers are not available at this time, but anonymous sources confirm that the current hypocrisy consumption rates are "off the charts."
On a related, but more hopeful note, officials have confirmed that supplies of mendacity are plentiful, and there is no anticipation of any shortage for the upcoming elections.
No one contributed to this report.
